Sighs.

I am a sigher... one who sighs..

I think sighing is a good thing even though it often comes across to others like something is wrong or bothering you.

For me, I think I sigh frequently because I am a shallow breather and occasionally my body remembers it could use a bit more oxygen and just takes over.  Of course, sometimes I sigh because I am frustrated, exasperated or something.

Today at yoga I was full of sighs.  Deep, exhausting, let it all out sighs.  I couldn't help myself. They just came again and again.  It felt good and by the end of my practice... I felt good.

The good thoughts and optimism continued for most of the day.  Sundays are a great day.  Until the thoughts of going back to work creep in.  Then I get anxious and frustrated and down on myself.  Not because I don't like work, or that I think I am not a good nurse.  I am a good nurse!  I am a nurturer by nature and take my work seriously.  The worries find me because sadly I am in a place where I am not well liked or respected. I am constantly trying to figure out how I can remedy this and I make myself nuts trying to win over colleagues that are not interested in liking or respecting me.  It's exhausting and depressing.  I try to just do my thing... work hard all day long and give kind care to my patients.  But being an island is hard.  Knowing that no one is glad to see you or happy you are there is hard.

So.. I continue to work on myself and create a vision for how I can be happier.  In many ways I am better than I have ever been.  More at peace than in the past.  I am thankful for that.

Deep breath... And... Sigh.

xo