New Snack!

It is basically all about food with me :) I think about food alot. I like finding yummy, healthy snacks and my latest one is from Target. Archer Farms Garlic Rosemary Low Fat Baked Potato Crisps. SOOOOO Good! I love rosemary so I think they are super delicious.

I went out running errands and got alot done. I also spent some money which is going to be on my mind more than ever in the next year. I didn't buy anything I didn't need and tried to get the best bargains I could. I suppose that is all I can do. Mostly I will have to refrain from buying anything new in the way of clothes, home accessories, etc. I just need this time while I am not working to be an exercise in being satisfied with what I have. That being said, I will still splurge on a great clearance item or thrift store find I am sure!!

I think I will allot x amount of money per month for retail therapy :) It may be a small amount, but at least I can treat myself sometimes.

Sigh.

Blame the rainy weather, or all the transition in my life... but I am feeling quite blue. Anxious maybe. I have a hard time coming to my job anymore because I feel more out of place than ever. I feel like everyone has moved on and they don't care if I ever worked here. Part of me recognizes that as normal.. they should move on, they should be over me. But I cannot help but want everyone to be broken up about the fact that I am leaving and that they won't see me everyday!!
After all, I have alot to look forward to but I am still terribly sad not to come here everyday and see my FSC people everyday.
I know that I am someone who likes attention, validation and affirmation (who doesn't!). I just want to be liked, missed, cared for, wanted....
Oh poor me! I feel a bit selfish for boo hoo-ing about this. I guess I am lonely and scared and worried about what is to come.

Rain, Rain

don't go away... but please change your pattern. I am ready for some sun and drier air. I am not complaining!! We need the rain. Everything is greener and lakes are fuller so hallelujah!!
What I love is when we have rain in the afternoon and it rains for an hour. Then it is cooler for the rest of the day.
With full days of rain, I have messy floors and damp dogs. Not my favorite thing, but better than no rain at all.
Rain makes me want to nap. I will do just that for a little while after work. Then hot yoga tonight. Can hardly wait!

Not just another Tuesday night.

I am alone alot, but not tonight. Tonight I am with my girls. Once a month my home is filled with the sounds of laughter and conversation as we play Keno. It is a good time and I always look forward to it.

I like having things to look forward to. Even something simple. It allows me to be okay with the down time. And don't get me wrong, I value my alone time. It doesn't take much to entertain me, so I do well with a quiet, simple life. I very much look forward to sharing my life with someone. I have realized lately that a good partnership for me will be one where we are together, yet separate. Where we share things together but have our own interests.

So, my girls will be here soon. I leave you with a new find that I am enjoying tonight. Barefoot wine now has Barefoot Bubbly... tonight I am drinking the Chardonnay variety. They also had Pinot Grigio and a few others. Yum! I love the bubbles.

Oh and we had rain today! Rain, glorious Rain! The prettiest thing I have seen in a while.

Mama said

there would be days like this! I am trying to choose happiness, but I feel so grouchy! I don't have an explanation for why... nothing has happened... life is status quo. I keep thinking it is hormonal, just that time in the month where I start feeling...well grouchy, for no reason.
I am feeling down on myself, not good enough, unattractive, etc. I get it that we all feel that way sometimes, but that doesn't make it suck any less. I was to be consistantly ok with who I am! Not just the first18 or so days of my cycle.
I am in hyper-critical mode which I hate. I like it better when I am more outside myself. I am trying to stay busy and distract myself. Maybe I need to do some soul searching and my mind/body is trying to tell me that, but I don't really feel like soul searching right now.
After work, I will lay down and read and probably sleep for a little bit. That usually helps me... kinda resets my brain or whatever. Then I will exercise tonight which should help.
Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts....

Oh Scrabl!

I started my day by staying in bed too long...relaxing and loving on the dogs. Then up and going knowing I will be later than usual for work. On my way out the door, I pause to give the dogs and little love and Scrabl is in a mood. He growls at me and I know it is about the single piece of kibble he has with him and is guarding. So, here we go...Do I play Alpha dog and make him get over it and submit to me... or do I just let it go... this time. I try to be consistant and make sure he knows I am in charge, so I take the kibble and put it back in his dish and give him a firm NO for the growling. Well he promptly gets up and gets another piece to keep with him. I know I don't have time for this, but I go through the same thing again only to have him again get a piece to keep with him. So this time when I am about to take it, he turns on me and starts snarling and biting. Jerk. I hate that my 8 lb little guy is winning this battle, but I don't have time for this!!!
Part of me thinks, poor guy, he was on the street and was hungry so now he feels safer if he keeps a little piece of reserve so he knows he won't be without.... BUT I know how he gets about it and can't have him biting me or others. He bit Lindsay on the lip once and I about got rid of him on the spot!
Grrrr.
The joys of dog ownership. Who owns who?? Sometimes, I think they own me.

BSUR

I am constantly working on being who I want to be. I can't get it wrong. No one can. Being who we are is all we can do. We really cannot get it wrong... sure there can be consequences that are less than useful, but if we are being our authentic selves... we are doing it right!

I have always struggled with "right" and "wrong". I put those words in quotes because with the majority of our actions there is not right or wrong. Every choice we make has consequences... they don't have to be categorized and right or wrong... they are simply choices that lead to our experiences.

My goal is always to be a good person, a caring person and a giving person. I enjoy being funny and hope I make people laugh from time to time.

I am learning that I cannot make people notice me, I cannot make people love me... I can simply create an atmosphere that is loving and supportive and light and fun... and hope for the best.

Be as you are.

Monday, Monday.

Happy Monday! What else is there to say?? It's not as if we can do anything about it... we have to start a new week. It always seems we complain about Mondays... I get it, it is a new work week... but really?
This have become a day to look forward to thanks to my friend Jeanna who often has me over for dinner on Mondays. She is a great cook and I love the routine of eating with her and Michael. And Monday is one of my favorite TV nights.
Life is about finding the moments that make us smile. There is always something to look forward to.

Limoncello update

I started the process yesterday. The lemon peels are soaking with the alcohol. Now we wait a week.
Today, I ordered online some cute 8oz glass bottles with stoppers that I will store it in.
Also I bought adorable little stemmed shot glasses at a thrift shop. Only spent $1.60 for 7 glasses.
Fun!
I hope it turns out deliciously!!

Weekend!

It's Friday! Yay! I am wearing my old navy capri jeans from Ebay... and my stop global warming flip flops I got for free with my purchase from Simple Shoes, and a clearance shirt from Target... I am a bargain from head to toe :)
I think I will go to the the lake tomorrow. It is going to be a beautiful weekend and warm enough for all to swim I think. I have already been in this year. I like to swim as early as possible each year. Mom and dad bought new noodles yesterday so we can all float in style. I want to get a comfy lounger float of some sort this year. Something with a cup holder so I don't spill my beer! Lake life is the best life! I am so glad mom and dad live where they do.